Things change or don't
by GloomyMoodsAndInspiration
Summary: By telling his mum about a new member of his church lessons Ben arouses a few things which would have gone different if he'd didn't say anything. Rated T for later chapters
1. News for Dinner

**Hi everyone! WitB doesn't belong to me, of course.**

**Even if it may bore you, I want to say some things ahead. It's a translation (I haven't finished it in "original"), still some things will be changed, as the dialogues have to be different at some moment. Of course there are other stories around in the WitB-fandom, and probably my idea isn't a complete new one. So I want to say sorry if it accidentally meets with the idea of another writer. Furthermore sometimes Alex, Tony, Carol or anyone else might be a bit out of character, but I hope it won't happen too often.**

**Alex' team is the one Val McDermid created and at a quite early stage, so Don is still alive.  
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Alex POV

"There's someone new in our church lessons," informed me Ben while we had dinner. Shortly I glanced up from my dish. There was no case at the moment, so that we eventually could have dinner together.

"Again?", I inquired. „A week ago you already had some new member."

I watched Ben attempting to roll up his noodles on a fork. "True anyway. This time it's a small girl." He stuck the great noodle ball in his mouth and tried to chew in one great piece.

"Small concerning age or size?" I asked. He mixed it up several times…

"Well, she said, she'd be six years and something more; a few months, I believe. She may appear as seven. And she's quite good in remembering things, because as I asked our pastor about some things and he repeated it she interrupted and said his exact choice of words had been a slightly different one earlier.", he paused and chuckled. "She was able to repeat it word for word."

"This is called eidetic memory, yet not a photographic one. It might be passed on from one generation to the next or appear individually. Such a memory reacts to stimuli – that what you hear. As far as I know one may even know exact words up to a few days, depend on how often they repeat it to their selves and as how important the information may be rated. But I am not sure, whether its true." I explained to him and rolled up my noodles easily.

"She said the same…" Ben mumbled sheepishly.

"Yeah, such things exist in reality. What's her name?"

"It was a strange name too...maybe Cathy An or Ann Catherine. Her family name was something about G or J…could have been Jackson. I don't know." Ben gave a shrug.

"Seems to be a quite beautiful name anyway. It's probably a rare one." I noticed and emptied my cup.

„Might be. She said they moved down from Johannesburg some days ago."

„South Africa?" for a fraction of a second I felt some kind of a déjà vu, but I ignored it. "That's quite a long distance to move. And then someplace being so unimportant as Bradfield." I shook my head. Crazy decision. „How does she look like?" I wanted to ask but didn't manage to say it out loud, since the doorbell cut me off.

"One sec." called I at the door and intricately stood. Wasn't I allowed to spend at least this evening together with my son?

"Tony!" involuntarily I jerked backwards as I opened the door. I'd expected everyone, yet not him.

"Evening, Alex? Didn't interrupt you, did I?" He asked.

"No, we were talking. Ben and me were talking. What's up?"

„Got a black out."

"For heaven's sake, what happened." I cried.

Tony shook his head and forced a smile. "An electrical power outrage. It was a joke. Not a good one, as it seems." He paused. „I called a few times, just to say I'd be troubled with university for the next few weeks and if you'd need any help in a murder case you'd only reach me past eight p.m. However, no one reacted, not even the answer phone reacted and I was concerned." He finally added as sheepishly as Ben had been before.

Rolling my eyes I chuckled. "Oh yes, as if we suddenly would vanish… far away… without a chance for you to contact us… without prior warning." My voice had got a dark edge, I cleared my throat and then talked normally. "Whatever, come in. Ben cooked. Pasta this time."

Tony wasn't even able to sit down as Ben asked a question. "Where exactly lies Johannesburg? How far is it away from here?"

"Johannesburg, eh?" Tony asked and Ben nodded excitedly.

"Mh, let's think. Move away from England, quite to the middle of Europe and then way down to Africa. As south as you can. This country down there is named South Africa and in South Africa you have to move a bit north-east. Or south west of Pretoria, its capital. If my memory doesn't deceive me, it shall be at about eight thousand five hundred and twenty miles away from here. More or less five hundred miles. I'm not quite sure about that last point." He ended and turned his attention to the food.

During Tony's explanation I'd stopped to clear the table as far as possible. Explaining a city's location at such accuracy I'd been desperate for a map,. Though I didn't comment on his knowledge. This was one of the things you could never be sure about Tony Hill – his knowledge and the personality behind it.

"Why do you ask for Johannesburg." Tony wanted to know.

"There's a new one attending our church lessons. Her and her mum moved down from there."

"Just Mum?" I asked. Maybe I'd be able to help her get along with the new environment. Being alone and a completely foreign city… yep, maybe I could help her.

"She said so. Yet, nothing more. Quite secretive, if you ask me, even for her age." Ben said.

„See it the other way round, Ben. They are new. Would you run to the first stranger you meet?", Tony asked rhetorically. "Thus reaction is normal. In addition I suppose, that her mother is very worried about her girl being safe, if she really is a single mother. She's all the sorrow on her own."

Not even ten minutes here and he has found something to analyze.

I sighed.


	2. Oh Fortuna

**Hi, here goes chapter two, finally finished and hopefully without too many spelling mistakes :D**

**Enjoy reading (:  
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(Carol POV)

Here we are. Back again. Back _home._ This thought shot through my mind immediately. Following almost seven years living in Johannesburg and no contact to anyone else we finally were home. Just Cathy and me. But that would be gone now. Cathy was old enough to notice, that something was missing in my and her life. She should know who.

Maybe my decision to go to Jozi wasn't the most suitable one, yet it had been the only suitable I saw in this situation. I wanted to leave that emotional chaos behind me, wanted to have my own theories proved. I've been afraid our more-than-friendship-but-less-than-being-real-lovers relationship would break down to pieces harrowingly slow. That's why I ended everything abruptly. It seemed final back then. Now- hardly worth the try. I won't change. Nor my emotions will, according to that. Thanks to Tony I kept emotionally bound to Bradfield and a few months later a physical connection announced itself. My dear Cathy. When she sternly looked at me she brought me close to crying. Her beautiful blue eyes held the same expression as Tony when he slipped into his theories, forgetting his whole environment. Sometimes I ended up trying not to cry or clinging to the last Christmas picture instead of sleeping.

I never ever mentioned to Cathy who her father was, nor shown her the picture. In most situations I told her I wouldn't know. She knew I was lying.

Turning round the street corner with a hire car, I drove along the still familiar buildings until I arrived at the church. Cathy didn't want me waiting there, so I waited at home.

"I am old enough. You don't have to wait for me. You're saying the same to yourself too." she'd explained this morning. I'd placed a kiss on her cheek and went home. Now I picked her up from her second course.

Shutting the motor off the car rolled into its parking lot and I climbed outside. A subconscious smile spread over my face. No one else was here, not yet. I leaned against the car's door and waited. By time the other parents arrived. Although those years of sunshine I still was paler than everyone else. A young woman caught my attention – she might be only a few years younger than me – as she constantly turned around as if to search for something or someone.

Back in Johannesburg I'd only talked English to Cathy as I knew that we wouldn't stay there forever. She'd be able to live in quickly and would learn a few other things. Her accent of course, was a whole different to mine, yet she spoke fluently and without lot of mistakes.

The church door opened and children descended the few stairs leading outside. Cathy talked to the pastor. Many children waved at their parents and said good-bye to each other. A blonde boy, a probably twelve-year-old, jumped down all stairs at once and ran to the woman with long, dark brown hair. He must have called, because she suddenly spun around and smiled at him widely.

If she knew where her son had been, why she'd kept searching for someone? She asked something and he nodded. Then she glanced up and directly fixed on me. I smiled bashfully – not scare them off at first sight.

"Mum, Ben invited me for dinner, you too." Cathy called and I heard her steps growing louder. Ben… probably the blonde haired boy. I turned to her.

"Well, that's great. Let's ask what his mum thinks about that invitation." I took her small hand in mine and together we went to her. She'd been searching for me. It might be difficult to find someone you don't know.

As she saw both of us, she also headed in our direction.

"Hello. I'm Alex Fielding. Ben, my son, already seems to made friends with your daughter." Alex was smaller than me and had brown eyes and long eyelashes.

"Carol Jordan. You already know Cathy, I assume. Call me Carol, please." We shook hands. She wanted to tell me something but an inner thought made her expression blank a second later. Then she seemed shocked and eventually stared at me as if she would know me for ages. I flipped through my mental data, but found nothing ever concerned the Name Alex or Ben Fielding. Nor anyone else named Fielding.

"Everything's all right?" I asked and glanced behind me. No cause there.

"No…yes, we're fine. You're from Johannesburg then?"

I nodded. She knew something about me, I didn't knew and that scared me.

"Even though I've never been there I'd guess your accent is more the London one.", she claimed.

I sighed. „True. But you're not wondering about my accent, are you?" Enough of the game.

She made a face, inhaled deeply and explained her expression. "No, not really. I'm working at local police force. DCI Fielding. Your replacement, as one may see it." I noticed my expression slipping and build up a neutral smile quite quickly. What a bouncing into fate…

„And here we still get to know one another." I remarked.

Finally, we decided to meet at Friday six o' clock in the afternoon. I didn't know how or why but I managed to escape the happy dinner party for myself. An inner voice was terribly frightened to face the music, especially Tony. The thought, of what may happen if he accidentally turned up at her door that night was enough to make me flinch away. Everything should be cleared up sooner or later, yet facing Tony was definitely something I wanted to do later. Way later.


	3. Making Friends

**Hi there =)**

**I am sorry it took me so long to update another chapter, as it had been already roughly translated a few weeks ago. Also, it already should have been posted last weekend.. argh, sorry! Can't even use school as an excuse because it wasn't.**

**Yeah, this is Tony's POV; hope I didn't mess up too much and made him too much OOC. o_O The italic lines are not mine, but taken from the series and hopefully as correct as they are said. **

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Tony POV

I rang the doorbell and secretly hoped that no one would be at home. Ben had convinced Alex to make me come today - a cold Friday evening - to have dinner with them. He told me, he would need my help. Alex herself didn't seem to be convinced at all.

Not ten seconds passed as Ben threw the door open. "Tony, you came! I waited so long for ya'. You have to meet Cathy. She's not talking about herself and Mum isn't saying a word either and I may bet she knows a lot about Cathy."

"What means a lot?" I asked as his accentuation on a lot dazzled me. And who is Cathy? Probably the new girl from his religion class.

"Everything; from A to Z." Great, he didn't knew it for himself.

"Well, Ben, will you allow Tony to get it? I have to bring her back when the clock strikes seven." We heard Alex explain.

"That early?" A disappointed high voice followed immediately. High and clear, though featuring an accent I couldn't quite define.

"Your mummy said so."

"Oh, boy." She complained.

"Come in, then." Ben said a bit sheepishly and pulled me inside.

As I saw the little girl, my thoughts instantly drifted back to Carol. Well, they somehow drifted very often back to her, yet I didn't like to commit that to myself nor to anybody else. She smiled up at me.

"You're Tony, are you? Ben told me lot about you. He said it's okay to call you by your first name. It is okay, isn't it?" Either she'd learned English in an unbelievable speed or she already learned it in Johannesburg that well.

"That's fine, don't worry… may we talk after dinner about what Ben told you about me? Otherwise we may underestimate Alex' dinner. Ben tasked me to have a glance into your thoughts." Did she understand what I said? She didn't seem to be scared and glanced at me with an interested expression.

"So, you're really a psychologist? Ben didn't make that one up?" she still questioned me, even though we probably should eat or at least help Alex with the dishes.

"Pfh…" Ben exhaled loudly and Alex disappeared into the kitchen.

"Yes, something like that. I will help Alex if she and the police have no idea what to do next and try to find out about the bad guy whilst looking at what he did and how he did it." I explained as not frightening as possible.

Her eyes lightened up. "Oh, wait! I know it! You're a...a profiler, am I right?"

That startled me. My line of work wasn't very popular. At least it didn't belong to knowledge of kindergarten. Not here and probably not in South Africa. "Yeah, that's my job."

"Don't forget dinner, you two. Ben and Cathy cooked a recipe of Cathy's mum under survey of me." Alex placed a last bowl of sauce on the table and sat down by herself. That smell was familiar to me. Curry! Mh, Indian food.

„That smells fantastic. Self made curry. As deep as I am in your dept, I'll never be able to redeem myself." I mumbled and smiled at the arousing memory eating curry and naan with Carol. _"What about us?" "Us?" „Yeah, you said in every relationship..." _ When did we talk about this? Ten years ago, maybe?

"Grace to the cooks." Meaningfully I whirled around with my fork. It really tasted fantastic.

Alex laughed and I could see from the corner of my eye how Cathy grinned. She was very cute, indeed. Her hair was short blonde and straight. Even though being a still young child, her eyes seemed highly concentrated and not too easy to read. The dinner went almost calm and without any disturbance. Then Ben blinked at Cathy. She nodded. In the next moment Alex rose. I'd missed something.

„Ben, be so kind and help me, dear." She collected the dishes.

"May I…?" I offered and rose.

"No, you've got your task." Ben reminded me and took the bowl out of my hands. They all were against me. I sighed.

"Fine. Let's sit down on the couch; what do you think, Cathy?"

She nodded, jumped and sat down on the couch in the next second. I sat down opposite to her.

"Ben told me nothing. I assume, you moved here from Johannesburg, am I right?"

She nodded. "Mummy said I was born there and I only know Jozi. Then we moved to live here." She didn't seem to suffer lot under consequences of the move.

„ Must be exciting. I've never moved that far. Do you know why you moved?" I asked.

"Nah, not a lot. Mummy said she wants to sort out new but I think it's because I get older."

"Because you get older and understand more?"

She again nodded and smiled at me, only that her expression became troubled in the next second. "Think so, yes. Once I woke at night and wanted to go to her and I saw that she was still awake, because her bed light was still on. Then I went to her door silently and I heard that she cried. Mummy never cries and as I watched through the opened door I saw she was glancing at something. I was afraid and went back to bed. And at her last birthday I caught her permanently glancing out the window and she asked me something like 'You know how beautiful England is at this season?' I didn't even know England existed and now we live here."

"Sounds as if there's only you and your Mum." I said slowly. Her mother apparently was from England.

"I don't know about Daddy. Every time I ask her about him she says she wouldn't know. But she's lying. I don't know why, but she's lying. And I don't like that lot. She always lies when I ask about him. Sometimes she even flushes dark red. Other time she told me, we'd someday visit India. With Daddy, which means she must know about him. I love Indian food, you know? You too, don't you? Yet I want to meet him." Her brow wrinkled and she continued in a less exciting tone. „Strangely she told me I shouldn't portray it openly if I ever meet him by chance, because she wants to do it. I don't know why, that moment was very weird as she told me."

What was that about her mother? Or her parent's relationship she was kept in the dark about? She wanted someone to care about her, different from her mother, yet not hurt her. Suddenly I wanted to tell her a bit about me. Normally I rejected those thoughts easily, but this girl nearly forced me into it.

"When I've been at your age, there weren't lot people caring about me. I don't know who my Daddy is, too. My mother was never home, she always worked and didn't care about me a lot either. Then there was my grandmother, yet the only thing we had in common where our surnames and a box of half pennies. We never moved around a lot. For a few days I was on a book-selling-tour. But that didn't work out." A memory I could smile back, too. _„__I hat that title." „Me too."_

„Did you have funny experience on you book tour?" She wanted to know. I shook my head. No, the mess with Patricia hadn't been funny at all. _"Might it possible, that your American girlfriend is from Canada?"_

"No, but Johannesburg must have been more fun, I guess."

She shrugged. „Nah, not really. But I've got my first kiss!" she explained proudly. Her eyes gleamed. "A good-bye kiss from my best friend, Daniel's his name. We're the same age. He's a bit taller than me. Maria gave me that bracelet. She did it herself, see." She rose her arm shortly and smiles at a leather band. She drifts back into a daydream. Suddenly she snaps out of it. "Have you already got a kiss?" that question hit me that unprepared that I wasn't able to answer immediately. Of course I've been kissed before, several ones. Some of them I'd love to delete forever, or everything being attached to it. Angelica for example; still I woke up sweaty and disillusioned at some nights...

"Tony!" Cathy complained.

"Oh, I am sorry, dear. Um, yes I already have been kissed. A friend, we did a lot together. She moved away." Johannesburg, too. I added in my mind.

„What's her name and what did you do?"

"Arm wrestling. I nearly lost against her, it was close. She kept me very often from making myself laughable; at other situations she provoked it, though" _"I don't want to go to charity." "If you didn't need that jacket the past six months, you won't need it now, mh?" _

"And she teased me every day we met. Even at the very first day she consulted me to her investigations." Cathy didn't seem to be bored but highly interested in that story. As I stopped talking she glanced at me being irritated.

"You didn't answer my question. Is she a policewoman, too?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes, she is, or was. I don't know what she's doing now. She was very good, though. Which question?" I didn't know what she was referring to.

"What is her name?" Oh.

I hesitated long before answering and checked with a glance aside that Alex and Ben were far enough away to hear anything about our conversation. "Carol. Carol Jordan." It felt good to say her name out loud and not bad, as I've always expected it to feel. My companion glanced at the desk. She wanted to ask something, but didn't know how. Didn't she know the words for it?

"Have you… did you… why aren't… do you love her?" she asked as seriously as if it was about herself. I swallowed. Did I?

"Yes.", it was the first time I ever agreed to it, in front of me, in front of someone else, but not in front of her. Two times I've been close admit it. Once a poster had been my saviour and the other time she'd left. A silence settled.

"Why...why aren't you together?" Of course, a six year old wouldn't understand this. However, she seemed to take it as a personal insult and her brow furrowed again.

"Our work brought us together…yet drove us apart the same. I don't know whether she still likes me." I didn't hear my voice changing, I only felt a small hand on my arm.

"Don't be sad. I think your names fit perfectly together! Carol and Tony." She grinned at me widely.

"We didn't want to talk about myself. How did you meet Ben?" I desperately needed a change of topic.

„I attend religion lessons, you know what I mean?" I nodded. "Ben too. He thought it was funny that I have such a word for word memory, you know?" Word for word?

"You mean eidetic?" It was rare.

"Something like that. Mum has it too. She said, we both would be the only ones in our family."

"Close to seven, now. We have to head off, I don't want to lose your mum's trust." Alex interrupted and I was glad getting out of danger being mentally crucified.

We both glanced up at Alex the same dazzled way. Ben, standing right behind her started laughing. Alex smirked and was too polite to laugh. Again; what did I miss?

"Oh, that's sad. Good night Tony." Cathy smiled at me and hugged me shortly. She went to Ben and Alex, but turned around another time. "You all may visit us too. Mum would like it." She supposed. „Please, Tony?"

"Maybe dear, it's not that simple." Alex answered for me. "Did he tell you anything decent or did he rip you in the air?" She asked as she helped Cathy in her jacket.

„He helped me a lot... I may rip Mum in the air now…" she said and then turned around to me again. She didn't want to leave. "Tony, have… have you a picture of your girlfriend? I mean, I know you already."

"We've never been.." I started but my sentence faded away quickly.

Alex watched me in a mixture of curiosity and humour and Ben started giggling again. It seemed to me, that everybody knew a bit of the puzzle and only together it would be a complete picture. Nevertheless I reached out for my wallet and kneeled down beside her.

"That's all of us, together. It was a party on the station. I don't even know who took it… well, this is Paula, Kevin, that's me.", I side glanced at Alex. "…there's Carol." Alex turned away, shook her head and smiled again. I saw she rolled her eyes. She'd done it extraordinarily often tonight and had been in a lighter mood than I'd experienced her for years. Cathy still stared at the photograph.

"As it seems impossible to part you, we will first bring you home Tony and then Cathy. Ben, do you come with us? You two are horrible. How long do you know one another, eh?" It felt like she'd add a silent „Shouldn't be surprised."


End file.
